17 November 2009

Moving on

I'm not quite sure how I'll approach today but one thing I'm certain though is this: I have to be strong for my students (again, little do they know that it's from them that I draw strength from).

While waiting outside for the elevator, a grade 9 (G9) student from my Physical Science class approached me and asked whether I'm going to push through with the scheduled chapter test today and I asked yes, but why? (I know what his answer will be but I still would want to hear him say it.) True enough he mentioned Pairin and the service, etc. I heard the elevator ding and so I told him, we'll see. I then asked for a second opinion from our guidance counselor whether I should push through with the test or not and he said, yes, I should. Losing someone to death is a reality that they have to contend with and yes, there's a time to mourn, but it's always best to keep things run as normal as possible so that the loss will not be even more blatantly held before them.

So came first block and my G9 students, they were a subdued group and again, staying true to my resolve to let this day pass as normal as possible for them, I laid out the schedule of things they must do prior to taking the chapter test - I do this every time I give a chapter test or long test so there's nothing out of the ordinary there. Of course, I saw 2 or 3 teary-eyed students and I approached each discreetly and asked if they need time off and stay in the guidance office to which they said no and in less than five minutes, were engaged in a discussion of some concepts that will be included in the test. Are the younger ones really more resilient? Yes, they are! The middle school and lower school guidance counselors dropped by my class while they were answering the test and asked if everythin's okay and I said yes - which is true. Also, I made it a point give them a graded homework just to make sure that their time away from school will be occupied.

And then my last class for the day came (last block) - this is the class that had Pairin. They were more 'talkative' when they came in compared to my morning class. One male student said that he's not feeling well so I told him to go to the clinic but he said no, he'll be fine. Another male student approached me and I was kinda surprised to see that he's really teary-eyed and he told me that he doesn't think he's in the proper mind set to take the chapter test today. I told him to discuss with this classmates concepts for 10-15 minutes and then after that, we'll take it from there. Again, less than 5 minutes after that conversation, he was very engaged in the discussion that I took it as a sign that he's okay after all.

Today, I, again, am humbled by human nature. Losing someone is certainly not easy but we do move on. I don't know what will happen tomorrow or the next day but I know we all did good today, and I know that the time when we can finally accept Pairin's permanent absence is dawning. Rest in peace, Pairin!


(I also learned today that two more of my students were in that car. Jay (G11) and Frank (G11), both are in my AP Chem class this year. Jay's younger sister, Ann, is in my Physical Science morning class on Blue day and it is from her that I learned this additional info and that there were also younger students who were with them when the accident happened. All are fine. Also, Ann told me that Jay will not be in school until next week so can I give him homework through her? And so I told her that I'll email the homework to Jay since I have his email address but she said that Jay's not home, he's in a monastery, meditating. And Frank, he came to school today but a teacher and some of his classmates said that he's not himself and continuously talks about nonsense things. A G11 student came to me during lunch break to ask for an explanation on a lab report that I asked them to make and she told me the bit of news about Frank and that they, the G11 students, decided not to mention anything about the accident when he's around. Yes, they are sensitive students and I admire them for that.

Frank did come to see me after school today asking about the homework. He did sound not his normal self, I asked him twice if he's okay and of course he said, yeah, yeah. How I wish he stayed home until today though but maybe the presence of his classmates and again, getting into the routine of school work will do him good, keep his mind off things.)

Overall, this day in school passed by even better than I have expected - not that I had so much expectations in the first place. I started the day resolving to be strong for my students and to just take things as they happen. Thank God things went by smoothly!

Ave Maria!

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